Zombie First Responders Course

Matt Boiselle As the impending apocalypse is seemingly right around the corner, who honestly can say that they haven't ( at least in their own mind) seen themselves as the one that will take on the role of savior ? There seems to almost be a kind of poetic victory that can all people can revel in as they view that fearless icon, the ultimate zombie slayer, as he (or she) stands alone in the rubble and debris, holding court over numerous undead bodies, freshly dispatched by blades, bludgeon, or bullets.

Sounds good doesn't it ? That's what I was thinking too, and if you happen to be around the Portland, Oregon area, you can attend the Trackers Earth's Zombie First Responder course. In this handy 2-day course, you will be taught the survival tools necessary to keep your butt from becoming zombie chow. There are a certain number of skills that one must know in order to have a somewhat decent chance at staying alive, and this ZFR course will get you started in the following ways. First up, you will be instructed on how to avoid high-risk areas that may be overly populated with the dead, and the ability to find and collect drinking water. Stealth will also be taught - you didn't think you were gonna march down the street like Rambo did you ?? Cooking is a topic that will be addressed, and rightfully so - unless you stumble on an overturned Hostess truck, learning to live off of the land can be a valuable nugget to be stored in your brain.

Finally, the topic that I truthfully think will be what sets the hunters apart from the hunted, will be how to take down the infected with either a hatchet, or a bow and arrow, because unless you have one serious armory at your disposal, you're gonna have to rely on a killing weapon that does not make a whole lot of noise and draw attention to yourself. All this for ONLY $67.00 for the course - spots are filling up quick, so head on over to www.trackerspdx.com and sign up. If you want the power and glory role in the end-of-days, this is a pretty good place to start.

Zombie Apocalypse Store

Matt Boiselle I'm sure that most of us can remember the good old days of Mom & Dad putting us in the back of the car while they went on a shopping trip. Our little eyes bugged out at all of the goodies in whatever store we were in at the time, begging & pleading for that one toy that we wanted more than anything -" pleeeeeaase ???? I swear you won't ever have to get me anything else ever" was the common refrain amongst the sad-eyed kids, hoping for at least ONE part of their parental unit to cave in.

Well I can tell you this, I am 38 years old and I can say with all honesty that if I ever ventured into the Zombie Apocalypse Store in Las Vegas, Nevada, my pleas of " can I get that?" to my wife would be heard for miles away. Before the store opened months ago, it used to be a gold & silver traders shop, and it now offers the apocalypse survivalist just about anything you could possibly need to fill up your end-of -days checklist. Falling a little short in the weaponry department ? The shop sells a plethora of stun guns & machetes, zombie max ammo, and combat knives the size of tree branches. They also have a gourmet food department with a large array of freeze-dried goods and k-rations ( hey, after the world ends it's not like you can stroll up to the drive-thru window at McDonalds.) The two things that caught my eye were the Zom-Bomb ( a 2lb binary compound that you mix, step back and shoot with a hi-velocity round, and watch any group of flesh-eaters get blown to kingdom come), and the 3D bleeding zombie targets, which are great for combat simulation. In addition, the store also sells movies, books, clothing and much more. ( I wonder if they offer a rewards card ?)

So feel free to click on the link in the picture which will take you to the online store, break out your credit cards, and prepare to shop till your heart's content. Or if you live in the Vegas area, just look for the black building which is completely surrounded by lit tiki torches. It might just be a wild guess, but I would think that if any of us wandered into Wal-Mart or Home Depot and said we were looking to stock up for the zombie apocalypse, we may be asked to leave the store. Good luck to everyone and Happy Shopping !!