Zombie Fragrance: The Scent of the Dead

Matt Boiselle

    Well that settles it....I'm almost 100% convinced that the best way to survive the zombie apocalypse is NOT to have the biggest firearm with the most ammunition, or the most secure fortress....it's gonna depend on how you smell ! (I'm sensing that you are shaking your heads right now.) Apparently if you are masked in enough of the zombie stench that should give you enough staying power to make it through a full-blown outbreak.

    Now I'm not saying that you have to drape yourself in zombie guts, Ala Rick Grimes in Season 1 of The Walking Dead, just head on over to www.demeterfragrance.com before May 15th and pick up a bottle of Zombie for Him, or Zombie for Her in either 1 or 4oz bottles, spray it on, and walk in confidence knowing that the unsprayed living around you will be head course at the buffet. According to Demeter Fragrance, each scent will have it's own specific smell for each gender. The men's cologne will have the essence of dried leaves, mushrooms, moss and earth....think dirty forest floor. (Wanna spray some on yourself, don't you ?)

  

   The women's fragrance will be a bit more elaborate with its olfactory assault...grass clippings....that have been sitting in a lawn bag for a few weeks before trash pickup, with a hint of bottom of the wine barrel swill (now THAT'S sexy.) Oddly enough, regardless of the low numbers, the reviews on the website for both fragrances have been very positive. A 1oz. bottle will run you 20 bucks, while a 4oz. bottle will go for $39.50 - not too much for guaranteed protection during the apocalypse, right ?.......right ?.........hello ?....

   If you do choose to be part of the (sweet?) smelling survivors group during the Night, Dawn, Day, or Return of the Dead.. you have to grab yours before May 15th, as these are in limited quantities right now, but please... don't blame us if a zombie asks you out on a date after getting a whiff of this stuff.