Wednesday, September 4, 2019
COOL AS HELL 2: THE QUEST FOR GOD'S BONG (Film Review)
Starring: James Balsamo, Billy Walsh, Dave Stein
Directed by: James Balsamo
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There comes a time in a cinephile's life when they CRAVE that one movie that they can hit the "power down" button on their brain, effectively giving their minds that graceful opportunity to reset, relax and revel in a movie that will set your soul at ease...all the while filling your TV screen with boobs, blood...and in this particular case: boogers and bongs.
Yessiree, ladies and germs - he's back! The one, the only (the SHOULD be institutionalized) Mr. James Balsamo, the lead loon at Acid Bath Productions, and it's safe to say that his latest creation, Cool As Hell 2: The Quest For God's Bong will act as that aforementioned movie to break your brainpan free from its harness, and allow it to streak naked across a slip and slide of dry ice and guacamole...see, I can get freaky too. The sequel to Balsamo's 2013 original film includes the man of the hour doing his yeoman like work once again (director, writer, producer AND actor) - in the film he reprises his role as lovable stoner Rich. After a rather horrific accident trimming a Christmas tree with a machete (what, you don't do it that way?), he's thrust into action to use the Holy one's most perfect piece of puffing paraphernalia in order to resurrect his best friend...now all he has to do is figure out how the hell to snag it!
As the norm with Balsamo's films, cameos are top-heavy and excessive, but that's where the fun is at, and this installment is no different - I'm going to chuck some names out there at ya and at the risk of not breaking my chunky fingers on the keyboard, I'll only dump a handful out - believe me when I tell ya - it reads like a who's who of horror, metal, comedy and all things deranged! Here we go: we've got Phil Anselmo (Pantera), Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes), Linnea Quigley (Night Of The Demons), Lloyd Kaufman (Troma), Don Jamieson (Comedian) and hell, even former pro wrestler Nikolai Volkoff (who sadly passed away in 2018) is in there. All in all, it's 90 minutes of complete mind-blowing insanity and off-the-hook comedy that'll be sure to entertain even the most picky of movie snobs - toss this one in grandma's DVD player and watch her burn the tennis balls off of her walker to run out of the room!
At the end of this totally whacked-out presentation, you'll probably want to rest your skull for a day or two, just to get yourself together, but before and during, this is your best opportunity to settle in with more than a few cold ones (and even some greenery) to help accentuate what you'll be witnessing on-screen, after which you can thank Mr. Balsamo for providing you all with such a tremendous sense of release, as he's charitable like that...might even be wanted in a few states, but who am I to judge? The film is currently on Vimeo for sale or rent, and will be hitting DVD shelves on September 24th - so what are you waiting for? Check this one out and allow your gray matter to run wild - it's not just cool as hell - it's Cool As Hell 2!
FILM RATING: 3.5 out of 5
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