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Sunday, September 5, 2021

GREAT WHITE (Blu-Ray review)


Starring: Katrina Bowden, Aaron Jakubenko, Tim Kano

Directed by: Martin Wilson


Now look, I think we can all agree that there isn't a shark flick that can touch the immensity of 1975's classic about that smilin' son-of-a-bitch in the sea - now some may have come within a fathom or two, but in my useless estimation everything since has been a whimpering guppy in comparison. Do I sound the least bit protective and jaded of the original product? Good. Now that we've got that brutish bit of harebrained reasoning off the freeway, we can delve into this titanic bucket of chum...don't get any on ya!

The premise of GREAT WHITE is based around the floundering (I promise, no more fish puns) small seaplane business of retired marine-biologist Charlie (Jakubenko) and his girlfriend Kaz (Bowden). One of their last-ditch attempts to keep their livelihood churning comes in the booking of a quick-trip from a couple of lovebirds. Not too soon thereafter shit goes sideways (no spoilers here, folks), some seriously misguided decisions are made and the group finds themselves at the mercy of a very hungry shark. Stuck in a life-raft with a dwindling supply-status the small contingent of not-too-friendly acquaintances has to band together to outwit a predator that at times acts as if it's out-thinking them at every watery turn. The main issue that I had with this production was the pacing and seemingly never-ending dialogue that would make most anyone want to call it quits and hop in the big blue for the last bite. 

Performances were adequate enough for another killer-shark film, but some of the decisions made by the characters and criminally-offensive CGI handcuff the movie to the bottom of the boat and drag it WAAAY past the channel-markers. A solid positive here is how the film actually looks on Blu-format, with electric blue seas and golden shores of sand that even look more impressive if you've got a big ol' idiot-box to watch them on, but unfortunately it isn't a saving grace. The film will hit Blu-Ray & DVD formats this September 7th, but it's been doggy-paddling around for a spell on VOD streaming services - if you're not put off by sleepy talk, a digitally-enhanced marine carnivore and a never-ending sense that you should have just watched JAWS for the millionth time, then this one's DEFINITELY for you.

FILM RATING: 2 out of 5

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